And now, for the first time, Molly had asked in a way which Anna could reply to, and she said at once:

‘Michael came to see me. About a month ago.’ She had lived with Michael for five years. This affair had broken up three years ago, against her will.

‘How was it?’

‘Oh, in some ways, as if nothing had happened.’

‘Of course, when you know each other so well.’

‘But he was behaving — how shall I put it? I was a dear old friend, you know. He drove me to some place I wanted to go. He was talking about a colleague of his. He said, Do you remember Dick? Odd, don’t you think, that he couldn’t remember if I remembered Dick, since we saw a lot of him then. Dick’s got a job in Ghana, he said. He took his wife. His mistress wanted to go too, said Michael. Very difficult these mistresses are, said Michael, and then he laughed. Quite genuinely, you know, the debonair touch. That was what was painful. Then he looked embarrassed, because he remembered that I had been his mistress, and went red and guilty.’

Molly said nothing. She watched Anna closely.

‘That’s all, I suppose.’

‘A lot of swine they all are,’ said Molly cheerfully, deliberately striking the note that would make Anna laugh.

‘Molly?’ said Anna painfully, in appeal.

‘What? It’s no good going on about it, is it?’

‘Well, I’ve been thinking. You know, it’s possible we made a mistake.’

‘What? Only one?’

But Anna would not laugh. ‘No. It’s serious. Both of us are dedicated to the proposition that we’re tough — no listen, I’m serious. I mean — a marriage breaks up, well, we say, our marriage was a failure, too bad. A man ditches us — too bad we say, it’s not important. We bring up kids without men — nothing to it, we say, we can cope. We spend years in the Communist Party and then we say, Well, well, we made a mistake, too bad.’

‘What are you trying to say?’ said Molly, very cautious, and at a great distance from Anna.

‘Well, don’t you think it’s at least possible, just possible that things can happen to us so bad that we don’t ever get over them? Because when I really face it I don’t think I’ve really got over Michael. I think it’s done for me. Oh I know, what I am supposed to say is, Well well, he’s ditched me — what’s five years after all, on with the next thing.’

‘But it has to be, on with the next thing.’