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She was late; but was not worried — Ivor would be there. During the time Tommy was in hospital, and Anna so often with Molly, Ivor had moved into their lives. From being the almost unknown young man who lived in the upper room, saying good night and good morning, coming and going with discretion, he had become Janet’s friend. He had taken her to the pictures when Anna was at the hospital, he helped her with her homework, and he repeated to Anna that she should not worry, he was only too happy to look after Janet. And he was. And yet this new situation made Anna uneasy. Not on his account, or on Janet’s, for with the child he showed the most simple, the most charming perception.
She was thinking now, as she climbed the ugly stairs to the door of her own flat: Janet needs a man, in her life, she misses a father. Ivor’s very kind to her. And yet because he’s not a man — what do I mean when I say he’s not a man? Richard’s a man; Michael’s a man. And yet Ivor isn’t? I know that with ‘a real man’ there would be a whole area of tension, of wry understanding that there can’t be with Ivor; there would be a whole dimension there isn’t now; and yet he’s charming with her, and so what do I mean by ‘a real man’? For Janet adored Ivor. And she adored — or said that she did — his friend Ronnie.
Some weeks ago Ivor had asked if he could have a friend to share his room, who was short of money and out of a job. Anna had gone through the conventional motions of offering to put another bed in the room, and so on. Both sides had played their parts, but Ronnie, an actor out of work, had moved into Ivor’s room and into his bed, and as it made no difference to Anna, she said nothing. Apparently Ronnie had every intention of staying for as long as she said nothing. Anna knew that Ronnie was the price she was expected to pay for Ivor’s new friendship with Janet.
Ronnie was a dark graceful young man with carefully-waved glossy hair, and a white flashing smile, carefully prepared. Anna disliked him, but, realizing she disliked the type rather than the person, controlled the feeling. He also was pleasant with Janet, but not (as Ivor was) from the heart; but out of policy. Probably his relation with Ivor was policy too. All this did not concern Anna, and it did not impinge on Janet, for she trusted Ivor that the child would never be shocked. And yet she was uneasy. Suppose I were living with a man — ‘a real man’ — or was married. There would certainly be tension for Janet. Janet would resent him, would have to accept him, have to come to terms. And the resentment would be precisely because of the quality of sex, of being a man. Or even if there was a man living here I didn’t sleep with, or didn’t want to sleep with, even then the business of his being ‘a real man’ would spark off tensions, set a balance. Well then? Why then should I feel that in fact I ought to have a real man and even for Janet’s sake, let alone mine, instead of that charming friendly perceptive young man Ivor? Am I then saying, or assuming (is everyone assuming?) that children need the tension to grow up? But why? And yet I obviously do feel it, or I wouldn’t be uneasy when I see Ivor with Janet because he’s like a big friendly dog, or a sort of harmless elder brother — I use the word harmless. Contempt. I feel contempt. It’s contemptible of me that I should. A real man — Richard? Michael? Both of them are very stupid with their children. And yet there is no doubt I feel that their quality, their liking women rather than men, would be better for Janet than what Ivor has.
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About
The Golden Notebook is a collaboration between if:book London and Apt.
Principal funding by Arts Council England.
HarperCollins, the publisher of The Golden Notebook, digitized the book for us and generously gave permission to reproduce it here in its entirety at no cost.
Additional support from The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation and New York University
Recent comments:
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Philippa Levine December 4th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Oh, I had a hard time here — Ivor isn’t a real man? Anna berates herself for this thought but, still, this and the following pages don’t, in fact, deconstruct Anna’s initial thoughts much at all. Ivor’s consort, Ronnie, bears the brunt, far more than Ivor, but this was a really uncomfortable few pages for me to read. The depiction of gay men as spiteful, greedy, and effeminate had me wincing and drooping…
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Nona Willis Aronowitz December 4th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Yeah me too, but I think this characterization should be credited to the era; that is, there was far less public embarrassment or guilt about homophobic thoughts and judgements. But to some extent, as Philippa points out, Anna *is* ashamed of this thought…and this relates back to her initial thoughts about race some pages ago. Anna’s radical politics often set off alarms in her head about prejudice; at the same time, she is very much a product of her time.
It is unclear, though, whether or not Lessing meant to emphasize this. It could be that Lessing herself, alongside Anna, was playing to her unconscious prejudices, too. Much like the way she treats the desires of Ella, Lessing clearly finds invaluable elements to traditional masculinity.
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Naomi Alderman December 5th, 2008 at 2:44 am
Yes, I also found this difficult. I remembered that at this time male homosexuality was still illegal in Britain, and punishable by imprisonment. so, I don’t know, does that make Anna’s attitude easier to understand if not to accept? I imagine that a man like Richard would have been even more damning to Ronnie and Ivor. Anna’s allowing them to live with her at all puts her very far from the mainstream. Having said this, her thoughts here depressed and alarmed me. No wonder so many gay men in this era lived their lives in such fear, when even the ‘radicals’ had attitudes like this.
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Laura Kipnis December 6th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Though the fretting here about what a “real man” is also has its counterpart in the constant fretting throughout the book about what a “real woman” is–in terms of motherhood, sexual response, attractiveness et al. The cudgel of normalcy she directs at the gay men reminds me of someone who’s kicked around at work, comes home and kicks the dog.
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Lenelle Moïse December 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Yes Laura, Anna thinks Ivor is “like a big friendly dog…dark, shaggy and friendly sitting on the floor…” (UK p.346). This word “friendly” appears over and over again. And “charming.” And “harmless.” I agree with Nona. This section is very similar in tone to the earlier Black Notebook passages where Paul takes the cook Jackson on as a sort of pet. Tolerance, pity and guilt cushion Anna’s disgust and inherent sense of superiority but her homophobia is as palpable as her racism was. I think it’s interesting that Ivor does so much babysitting. He serves Anna, just as the Africans at the Mashopi Hotel served Anna and her crew.
When I read sections of this book, I often wonder if Anna/Lessing could have imagined a reader like me. How would Lessing write this section today? Anna may be “a product of her times” but, decades later, I’ve met people just like her. Folks still smile at those they regard with contempt. Some still expect marginalized people to behave like loyal, desperate, good-natured dogs.
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Laura Kipnis December 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
But Anna isn’t *only* privileged, her position seems a bit more complicated than that–she’s a woman, she’s a communist; it’s not so clear that her inherent sense of superiority is so inherent or total. Also there’s racism and homophobia even among the marginalized, not just among the privileged, right?
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Nona Willis Aronowitz December 9th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
She *is* a communist, which is precisely the element that propels her shame about prejudice. Admitting to herself that she felt superior would be easier if she were apolitical or conservative–at least she wouldn’t be claiming to be a social revolutionary.
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