Search
‘But Anna, you surely didn’t expect me not to think about what you said?’
Anna closed her eyes a moment, smiling painfully. ‘I suppose I underestimated — how much you’d take me seriously.’
‘That’s the same thing. It’s the same thing as the writing. Why shouldn’t I take you seriously?’
‘I didn’t know Anna was writing at all, these days,’ said Molly, coming in firmly.
‘I don’t,’ said Anna, quickly.
‘There you are,’ said Tommy. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘I remember telling you that I’d been afflicted with an awful feeling of disgust, of futility. Perhaps I don’t like spreading those emotions.’
‘If Anna’s been filling you full of disgust for the literary career,’ said Richard, laughing, ‘then I won’t quarrel with her for once.’
It was a note so false that Tommy simply ignored him, which he did by politely controlling his embarrassment and going straight on: ‘If you feel disgust, then you feel disgust. Why pretend not? But the point is, you were talking about responsibility. That’s what I feel too — people aren’t taking responsibility for each other. You said the socialists had ceased to be a moral force, for the time, at least, because they wouldn’t take moral responsibility. Except for a few people. You said that, didn’t you — well then. But you write and write in notebooks, saying what you think about life, but you lock them up, and that’s not being responsible.’
‘A very great number of people would say that it was irresponsible to spread disgust. Or anarchy. Or a feeling of confusion.’ Anna said this half-laughing, plaintive, rueful, trying to make him meet her on this note.
And he reacted immediately, by closing up, sitting back, showing she had failed him. She, like everyone else — so his patient, stubborn pose suggested, was bound to disappoint him. He retreated into himself, saying: ‘Anyway, that’s what I came down to say. I’d like to go on doing nothing for a month or two. After all it’s costing much less than going to university as you wanted.’
‘Money’s not the point,’ said Molly.
‘You’ll find that money is the point,’ said Richard. ‘When you change your mind, ring me up.’
‘I’ll ring you up in any case,’ said Tommy, giving his father his due.
‘Thanks,’ said Richard, short and bitter. He stood for a moment, grinning angrily at the two women. ‘I’ll drop in one of these days, Molly.’
‘Any time,’ said Molly, with sweetness.
Search
Bookmarks
You last read
Page
You last bookmarked
Page
Bookmark currentBookmarked!
Page 46
Comments
Previous page
with comments
<<
See all
comments
Go
Next page
with comments
>>