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‘What am I going to do, Anna?’
‘I don’t think you’ll be able to do anything.’
‘I’m not going to be outwitted by Marion!’ Again Anna was startled into laughter. ‘Richard, do stop it! Marion’s had enough, that’s all. Even the softest-willed people have escape routes. Marion’s turned towards Tommy because he needs her. That’s all. I’m sure she’s never planned anything — to use the word outwit of Marion is so …’
‘All the same, she knows quite well, she’s glorying in it. Do you know what she said to me a month ago? She said: You can sleep alone, Richard and …’ But he stopped on the verge of finishing what she had said.
‘But Richard, you were complaining of having to share a bed with her at all!’
‘I might just as well not be married at all. Marion’s got her own room now. And she’s never at home. Why should I be cheated out of a normal life?’
‘But Richard …’ Futility stopped her. But he was still waiting, wanting to hear what she would say. She said: ‘But you’ve got Jean, Richard. Surely you must see some connection somewhere. You’ve got your secretary.’
‘She’s not going to hang around for ever. She wants to get married.’
‘But Richard, the supply of secretaries is unlimited. Oh don’t look so wounded. You’ve had affairs with at least a dozen of your secretaries, haven’t you?’
‘I want to marry Jean.’
‘Well I don’t think it’s going to be easy. Tommy won’t let it be, even if Marion divorces you.’
‘She said she wouldn’t divorce me.’
‘Give her time then.’
‘Time. I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be fifty next year. I can’t afford to waste time. Jean’s twenty-three. Why should she hang around wasting her chances while Marion …’
‘You should be talking to Tommy. Surely you can see that he’s the key to everything?’
‘A lot of sympathy I’ll get from him. He’s always been on Marion’s side.’
‘Perhaps you should try to get him on to yours?’
‘There’s no chance of that.’
‘No, I don’t think there is. I think you’ll have to dance to Tommy’s tune. Just as Molly is, and Marion too.’
‘Just what I expected from you — the boy’s a cripple and you talk of him as if he’s a sort of criminal.’
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About
The Golden Notebook is a collaboration between if:book London and Apt.
Principal funding by Arts Council England.
HarperCollins, the publisher of The Golden Notebook, digitized the book for us and generously gave permission to reproduce it here in its entirety at no cost.
Additional support from The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation and New York University
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