Free Women 3

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Marion laughed, with difficulty. She put back her head and sat with her eyes shut: shut so tight that the brown lashes quivered on cheeks that were now haggard. Then her eyes opened, and blinked and searched; they were searching for the bottle of whisky which stood on the trestle table against the wall. If she asks me for another drink I shall have to give it to her, Anna thought. It was as if she, Anna, were involved with her whole self in Marion’s silent struggle. Marion shut her eyes, gasped, opened them, looked at the bottle, twitched the empty glass between her fingers, shut her eyes again.

All the same, Anna thought, better for Marion to be a lush and a whole person; better a drunkard, and bitter and truthful; than sober, if the price of being sober is that she must be an awful tripping coy little girl — the tension had become so painful she found herself breaking it with: ‘What did Tommy want me to do?’ Marion sat up, put down the glass, and in one moment changed from a sad, honest defeated woman into a little girl.

‘Oh he’s so marvellous, he’s so marvellous about everything, Anna. I told him Richard said he wanted a divorce and he was so marvellous.’

‘What did he say?’

‘He says I must do what’s right, what I really believe to be right, and I mustn’t humour Richard in an infatuation just because I think it would be high-minded or I want to be noble. Because my first reaction was, let him have a divorce, what’s it matter to me? I’ve got enough money of my own, that’s no problem. But Tommy said no, I must think what’s best for Richard in the long run. And so I should make him face up to his responsibilities.’ ‘I see.’ ‘Yes. He’s so clear-headed. And when you think, he’s just twenty-one. Though I suppose the terrible thing that happened to him accounts for it — I mean, it’s terrible, but you can’t even think it’s a tragedy when you see him so brave and never giving way, and being such a marvellous person.’ ‘No, I suppose not.’ ‘And so Tommy says I shouldn’t take any notice of Richard, just ignore him. Because I’m quite serious when I say I’m going to spend my life on bigger things. Tommy is showing me the way. I’m going to live for others and not myself.’ ‘Good.’ ‘And that’s why I dropped in to see you. You must help Tommy and me.’

‘Of course, what shall I do?’

‘Do you remember that black leader, the African man you used to know? Mathews, or something like that?’

This was not at all what Anna had expected. ‘You don’t mean Tom Mathlong?’

Marion had actually taken out a notebook and was sitting with a poised pencil. ‘Yese. Please give me his address.’

‘But he’s in prison,’ said Anna. She sounded helpless. Hearing her own feebly objecting voice, she realized she felt not only helpless but frightened. It was the panic that assaulted her when with Tommy.

Free Women 3

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