The Free Women 1

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‘Perhaps it would have been better if you had in fact chosen a stupid and insensitive woman?’ suggested Molly. ‘Or you shouldn’t have always let her know what you were doing? Stupid! She’s a thousand times better than you are.’

‘It goes without saying,’ said Richard. ‘You always take it for granted that women are better than men. But that doesn’t help me much. Now look here, Molly, Marion trusts you. Please see her as soon as you can, and talk to her.’

‘Saying what?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t care. Anything. Call me names if you like, but see if you can stop her drinking.’

Molly sighed, histrionically, and sat looking at him, a look of half-compassionate contempt around her mouth.

‘Well I really don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘It is really all very odd. Richard, why don’t you do something? Why don’t you try to make her feel you like her, at least? Take her for a holiday or something?’

‘I did take her with me to Italy.’ In spite of himself, his voice was full of resentment at the fact he had had to.

Richard,’ said both women together.

‘She doesn’t enjoy my company,’ said Richard. ‘She watched me all the time — I can see her watching me all the time, for me to look at some woman, waiting for me to hang myself. I can’t stand it.’

‘Did she drink while you were on holiday?’

‘No, but …’

‘There you are then,’ said Molly, spreading out her flashing white hands, which said, What more is there to say?

‘Look here, Molly, she didn’t drink because it was a kind of contest, don’t you see that? Almost a bargain — I won’t drink if you don’t look at girls. It drove me nearly around the bend. And after all, men have certain practical difficulties — I’m sure you two emancipated females will take this in your stride, but I can’t make it with a woman who’s watching me like a jailor … getting into bed with Marion after one of those lovely holiday afternoons was like an I’ll-dare-you-to-prove-yourself contest. In short, I couldn’t get a hard on with Marion. Is that clear enough for you? And we’ve been back for a week. So far she’s all right. I’ve been home every evening, like a dutiful husband, and we sit and are polite with each other. She’s careful not to ask me what I’ve been doing or who I’ve been seeing. And I’m careful not to watch the level in the whisky bottle. But when she’s not in the room I look at the bottle, and I can hear her brain ticking over, he must have been with some woman because he doesn’t want me. It’s hell, it really is. Well all right,’ he cried, leaning forward, desperate with sincerity, ‘all right, Molly. But you can’t have it both ways. You two go on about marriage, well you may be right. You probably are. I haven’t seen a marriage yet that came anywhere near what it’s supposed to be. All right. But you’re careful to keep out of it. It’s a hell of an institution, I agree. But I’m involved in it, and you’re preaching from some pretty safe sidelines.’

The Free Women 1

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3 Comments

  1. Nona Willis Aronowitz November 9th, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    This outburst of Richard’s at the bottom of the page is heartbreaking, partly because he surely believes this is going to be his shining moment–yet gets mocked once again–and partly because it underlines the sheer resignation and helplessness people felt (and still do feel of course) about the institution of marriage. he completely separates himself from his choices, telling them he’s “involved” with the institution of marriage, i.e. normalcy, and there’s really nothing he can do about it. at least it’s better, he seems to say, than you weirdos who avoid mainstream society and a veneer of normalcy.

    too bad, also, that he earnestly makes the claim that his marital problems are physical, inciting (as the reader might guess) molly’s scornful vitriole about men’s supposed separation of physical and emotional. classic “intuitive woman, rational man” squabble! you just feel so sorry for this guy.

    1. Naomi Alderman November 9th, 2008 at 11:27 pm

      It’s so interesting you said you felt sorry for him. Until you said it, I had just felt contempt for him. All he seems to be interested in is controlling the people around him. Marion must stop drinking, Tommy must have this kind of job.

      Also, from my totally unfair 2008 perspective I feel I want to say to him: a) go to couples therapy and b) (sorry to be mildly graphic) learn a range of bedroom skills so that you can still give her a good time even if you don’t have a hard-on.

      Now you say it, though, I can see what you mean about feeling sorry for him. From his point of view, he’s in a terrible bind, because he doesn’t seem to have the skills to talk to his wife, or she to talk to him. I’m interested to see how this relationship develops.

      1. Nona Willis Aronowitz November 9th, 2008 at 11:34 pm

        Regarding what you’d love to tell Richard about his sexual problems, none of that would work precisely because it’s true, he doesn’t know how to interact with his wife, almost uses his physical problems as an excuse for forgetting sexual contact altogether. it seems almost a relief that he can’t get a hard-on in his marital bed. it’s physical–not my fault the marriage is failing! furthermore, he doesn’t seem to believe that there’s any such thing as improving a depressing situation. that makes me sad, not contemptuous.